it really sends the message that i like to impregnate mortal women and have them birth fantastic half man-half god infants.
after we had sex last night he told me he smelled like my vagina. and then he said that if his roommate had a vagina he would probably smell like it. because "they hug weird and shit."
for real. he might as well bring dogs if they're lower than a 7.
just overheard a conversation that ended in "and that's what I learned in France" How could that not have been about sex
kinda considering buying a life alert for sophmore year
As a matter of fact you told me i fulfilled your "woodshop teacher fantasy"
You said that "grilled cheese was much to complex" and started to throw the buttered bread at the wall while eating all the cheese.
He kept pouting and saying i cockblocked him and I kept yelling "I'm sorry...but the cock was never out to be blocked"
I apologize for violently hooking up with her in front of you in the jacuzzi last night.
She was eating leaves off of trees and saying it was salad, and even told a guy in passing that her favorite color was plaid.
I need to quit being a slut. It's to the point that I got my period today and automatically I Believe I Can Fly popped into my head.
We watched the first ever season of SNL and fucked for so long. He accidentally punched me in the face, but I mean, John Belushi was the background noise of our sex. I can deal with it.
Blowing lines in the bathroom and trying to get into the mindset of someone who wants to be at work for 12 hours
do I look like a person who has full control of their limbs and existence on this plane of reality
We fucked while The Odyssey played in the background. Homer would be proud.
Randomize
