so im watching realhousewives of jersey with my mom. she just said they werent really rich bc they were doing their own makeup.
just went onto Yahoo and the featured article had a picture of one of the Jonas brothers. last two times the featured article was a celebrity's face the headline was "Michael Jackson is Dead" and "Pitchman Billy Mays is Dead" so naturally I got a little excited. Turns out he's just engaged. Who gives a fuck.
Just took career test that listed librarian and bartender as top career choices. Fascinating.
its a saturday night. im home alone watching legally blonde, eating week old birthday cake and drinking milk out of the carton. so yeah im doing real well
By connection do you mean me drunkenly grinding my ass on his lap for an extended period of time? If so, then yes, we had a "connection"
Just had a pleasant conversation with a mugger while he was taking off my shoes. Why can't I get along with people like this sober?
he picked an earring up off the bar floor and tried to give it to girls as a present.
I'm a big fan of your penis but I will not sit through an animated movie dedicated to it.
She dumped a fish bowl of alcohol on herself. Just like flash dance.
It's entirely possible that I'm fucking yet another gay guy
Slept with the roommate last night and also discovered that she believes in eugenics. I may need to slow down my drinking
My apologies. I'll try not to let my dick interfere with official work duties in the future.
I would be down to associate sex w taco bell
I was so high last night I honestly think my tears were medicinal
I've decided if you aren't here in fifteen minutes I'm leaving you for Mario the 75 year old Colombian bartender.
Randomize
