Umm. Any where really. Alcohol and boobs. Those are the requirements.
Lets start the night off early. Those Coronas arent going to throw themselves up.
About to fuck some random fraternity guy I met at a party. I guess this would be the right time to say I don't want to be with you anymore.
I head back to the dorms in less than a week I'm not ready to see my roomate naked that much again.
Please don't be alarmed by the blood on my arms and phone in the morning. It's not mine.
Oooo yea. You face planted on my bed but only half your body made it so you noodled onto the floor but kept saying prepare to be murdered which is when you started taking your pants off but stopped at your ankles cause it was too hard
Remember that girl from my stats. class that I ran into at the bar 2 weeks ago? She literally hasn't been to class once since I told her I sit behind her.
I can not be a lesbian living on Beaverland.
I fell asleep with a half eating burrito in my hand and woke up to cat vomit with burrito in it.
A check for $9 that I used to buy six boxes of Girl Scout cookies bounced. I think I've hit a new low.
he appreciated my fucking vagina for two hours he can appreciate my honesty
We have had more Sex in the past 48 hours then we have in the past 3 months. I think it was from me dressing up as Darth Vader.
He motorboated me, gave me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
you're telling me you don't want to have sex 30,000 feet above the earth?
I need some buff guys to cuddle me and call me precious
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