you convinced the bartender to un-cut you off by letting him touch your boobs whenever you ordered a drink.
I just witnessed Grandma making her infamous daiquiris. Extraordinary.
Just asking. Could've given you a lap dance in a sombrero, drenched in corona and tequila.
God Bless cinco de mayo
Two run-ins with cops/park rangers tonight and now I'm just wandering around high and shirtless
Sacramento doesn't deserve you
Life is my bitch right now. The bouncers tried to carry me out of the club, but everyone thought I was crowd surfing so everyone carried me BACK IN. Winning as fuck.
Sorry. Not doing life today. Love to. But can't.
I would do everything over again, except the fireball.
I stole a tiki torch last night and just returned it. Things have been better.
a homeless man let us know that my friend was asleep in the bushes outside my house on main street. So just a small get together.
Beer. Pizza. Seething Rage. I will be full of two of these things tonight. You get to decide which two.
I'm being hhit on by creepy guys please come one bought me a penis hat balloon animal save meeeee
I would like to reiterate that I went to give lessons and ended up having a three way instead
Turns out that fresh outta jail dick is quite something.
I wiped my ass with a McDonalds wrapper. I've hit an all time low. Sorry for my impatience
I don't remember anything from last night, but at track I found my thong next to the high jump pit... So it must has been decent
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