Do you ever creep on the girls you have banged and wondered how their walk of shame went?
It was like fucking a house. Down the chimney. That deep and empty.
When she was giving me head last night it felt like there was a NASCAR pit crew working on my dick.
i'm sober ask me anything about the civil war
My brain is foggy with friends reruns and him licking hummus off my tits.
You picked up her frozen vom puddle and threw it like a frisbee.
I was woken up at 4am by a stranger shaking my foot who said I looked like I needed a cigarette.
Apparently all year they've been using me as a standard of drunkenness
Dude we both faced 40s of steel reserve which is like saying, "Hey, I'm a complete piece of shit!"
I have a hunch Mama J got around.
Am I allowed to say that about my own mom?
Idk man there's lots of bad dick but even a bad cookie is still pretty good
We're friends with benifits... The benifits being I'm fucking her boyfriend
Hey, I left a taco in your dishwasher.
I'm too drunk to make ramen. What the fuck is this.
he was just sitting there in his underwear... and his chewbacca mask...
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