I would never have sex with Danny Devito!! JSYK.
My wife says its no good to have oral sex during pregnancy. So i guess pregnancy is like regular life.
i wish i could just chop off my fat with a knife..i would rather endure that than work out
dude...I wrote 15 jersey shore quotes on her body. she is going to do the walk of shame with snookie on her forehead.
She got a text from her mom saying "you better not sleep with him, we all know how he is". IV ONLY BEEN HERE A WEEK
Yeah he doesn't get it. We had to change the subject to Keanu reeves before someone got hurt.
What do I wear to meet his family/put his dog to sleep? Is there even an appropriate outfit for this occasion?
I went to look at my notes for my take home final and all I had written was 'you're on E. You won't remember a damn thing anyway.'
In other news, I'm pretty sure my mom was encouraging me to have a threesome yesterday... I don't even want to start digging in that garden of horror and trauma.
I think you just have to raise your bang age from 40 to 50, hope dust doesn't fly out and make her say tony danza
I really wanted to pound but her roomate was making mac n cheese n shit so I was trying to time her moans to the drone of the microwave
Dude, please tell me you know why there's a naked chick asleep outside my room.
Other than unclothed paranormal encounters, how has your day been
I'm on the fast track to lesbian land
the fact that your 21st birthday is also new years eve is pretty much a death sentence
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