I almost hooked up with this girl last night. she had a tattoo of a cardinal next to her cooter. said it reminded her of her grandpa
I've been thinking and really it's a miracle I haven't had an STD yet.
Dont have access to internet. masturbating to shake weight commercial.
It's official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world.
she's crying and begging for her chapstick and insisting on walking home...her every thursday ritual
My phone autocorrected your name to "grownup." that couldn't be more inaccurate. I'm getting a new phone.
You're just gonna have to make the sacrifice man.
I'm trying to hide in the table.
There is a guy in class using a wine bottle as a water bottle. Welcome to the Faculty of Environment.
I just chugged whiskey at 7 AM because going to breakfasts at Brendas doesnt seem right if Im not real drunk. I feel like when Brenda takes my order she can tell Im drunk and will take care of me.
Im gonna go for the gay guy. The ginger is freaking me out.
He stole me a cantaloupe and we drunkenly broke into a park and ate it on a bench with my pocket knife. I think i need to marry him
Not drinking until my bday. I know it's only a few days but it feels like when couples get celibate before the wedding and there's all that tension.
And by "have lunch together" you mean me giving you a blow job in the back of your Tahoe, right?
Sorry you uh had to see that last night. That's the problem with open fields, no privacy...
I just had a morning three-some with marijuana and a detachable shower-head
Randomize
