I bet there is no greater pleasure in life than pistol whipping people.
Anal.
Do you know how easy it would be to shoplift if I was a magician?!
He is like the real live version of the state fair..
I hope this adventure ends at a hospital
lets just say that i have already today: gotten drunk, got in a fight, got stranded an hour away from home, found a ride, sobered up, and slept. woken back up, and here i am. its been a long day. Day drinking is bad for friendships.
You claimed your dick was a divining rod, spun in a circle 3 times and walked into the bar you stopped in front of...consequently there was a bikini shoot going on
No, we talked about it. They're cool with me living here as long as I sleep with them both.
You're a rent hooker.
I can feel my ovaries exploding thinking about them.
There has to be a way to make college graduation in Las Vegas different than any other Tuesday in Las Vegas. Strippers? Been there. Getting arrested for public indecency on the strip? Done that.
Def something wrong w taking plan b with your daughters juice box
Sometimes you just have to have sex for a Netflix password.
I am going to tweet NASA until they put me into space
Those rocketship riding assholes need the common man
would it be okay if I showed up at your house naked? and is your door unlocked?
She was screaming and crying about how she couldn't find her middle finger. Then, she threw her body on to the pavement. Thats the last time we buy a freshmen a handle.
In other news there's 12 shirtless Korean dudes all trying to jump on a tiny little trampoline so that's entertaining
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