yo my bday is less then one week away. hope youve found another annoying candian i can lick dairy products off of. also sorry about your loss
see you put your penis in her and it's like an ignition key to start the crazy
my facebook is like a giant collection of my one night stands
there are two kinds of girls in this world: my mom, and sluts.
He autographed my vag. This fuck just got authentic.
My phone autocorrected your name to "grownup." that couldn't be more inaccurate. I'm getting a new phone.
After much deliberatipn and vodka, my favourite phrase of Christmas 2012 is "penis of last resort"
I don't know if I want context or not...
Context involves faux incest and champagne. Id go into detail but im on shot number 5.
I think drinking White Russians at half past four in the afternoon is perfectly acceptable. I'd bought a LOT of milk and cream that needs to be used up. Resourceful, check, fuckable, check. You have a great girlfriend here pal.
Dude I just came exactly at the crescendo of the Catalina wine mixer duet from step brothers.. Advance to next level.
Meanwhile I'm googling glory holes in Vegas
you made cordon bleu at 4am and declared you were Marshall Stewart
Where are you? Where am I? Why am I so red?
Damn that brownie almost kicked my ass. I'm not sure if my flight home lasted 10 minutes or 10 days..
They call you PBJ boy because you were trying to seduce me with pieces of a peanut butter and jelly sandwich. Successfully might I add.
I didn’t spend $100 for a wax to sit here and listen to you FT your brother to complain about how bad the Jets are.
Randomize
