you called her butter tits and then threw up in your cup. i dont know if theres any way to come back from that
So far we've hooked up on a pool table, on a public bathroom counter and now in a little league baseball dugout. We haven't even made to a house yet.
Yeah, well I just made $600 while taking a shut cause two diff clients called while I was in here. Tell me being a lawyer doesn't kick ass.
I was ready to fuck him until he pulled the "I might be bi curious" card. Now its turned into a guilt fuck. It's like he's a 3rd world child in need of a sexual orientation.
Just grabbing my bra from a history teacher's desk in the Humanities building. Maybe I should stop drinking on weeknights
I ate the most amazing corn dog today.
I will probably dream about it.
That was the second worst thing to happen to my asshole.
once he tried to wake me up from my hangover nap to have sex, that's when things went downhill. he had to go.
They were assless. I wore assless football pants.
I'm excited for him and his new girlfriend. I'm just going to miss his penis is what I'm saying.
I'm kind of upset that he wanted to have sex instead of watch Harry Potter. I mean it's Harry fucking potter.
Kind of like the new iOS 10 because I can send sexts with fireworks or confetti. Really gets the point across
Bro.. I am absolutely going to have sex with our old middle school health teacher
I think my life is a one-way ticket to blackout city.
Just did the "lost my phone, need #'s" post and I got a text saying "go ahead and save me as Ashley-DD because I know you will anyway. I think I love her.
Randomize
