would you consider dating someone with braces an investment?
If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
Agreed
I just had a dude tell me how he got fired from friendly's for tripping a kid and followed the story with "If i'm gonna do it, I do it big."
i'm wearing my white shorts to coax my period out of hiding.
its 9am. i just got home. spent 6 hours blowing him in a closet last night
No see this is how It goes: guys will fuck virgin girls. But girls don't really want to fuck virgin guys. So you're good have no fear.
I feel like I shouldn't be doing my banking stoned. But I bought a new bowl. Her name is Sharpe. Pronounced Shar-Pay.
I would have rather watched a full length video of myself masturbating than heard that.
I'm drunk, laying in bed, eating macaroni salad. I dropped a piece and tried to pick it up with a fork. My cleavage is bleeding and I haven't been laid yet. Heeeyyyy!!!
Then while I was crying on his shoulder, he got a boner. Soo. I kinda just hopped on.
He wants to buy us a microwave. Clearly the man is going to fix my life.
I'm experimenting with sincerity
We'll just play naked Twister, the rest will take care of itself
She was drunk running in the middle of the street when a cop saw her,picked her up and dropped her off at her house. This really doesn't surprise me.
I just washed down my antidepressant with some pineapple wine. I'm the picture of mental health this holiday season
Randomize
