I don't plan to be alive for 2010 so ima say this 12 hours early. Happy New Year bitches
4 feet of snow. teaching the cats how to snow swim. throwing them off the porch and seeing what happens.
there is just no excuse for touching your mothers vagina.
so,apparently a side effect from having sex on the beach is now i have a tanline shaped like your sister
i hate you
I'm crawling around naked in my room looking for my hairbrush. Just thought I'd put that image in your head.
My mom is purposely blasting Shania Twain downstairs so I can't jack off.
If I'm not up by 8, will you please knock on my door?
That depends, can you stop texting me while you're masturbating?
Touche.
I CAN STILL HEAR YOUR VIBRATOR.
you said you didn't want to carry the pizza box so just folded up the pizza and put it in your pocket
Hatred of squirrels is the least of my hereditary problems.
Who doesnt want to be Yoda? I mean seriously, how sweet would that be? Live to 400, not give a shit about love and all that, know fucking mind tricks and smoke awesome swamp weed. I'm down.
I mean I puked all over three separate towns last night and I still think you're the one who should reevaluate their life.
The man was doing everything in his power to get away from his wife, including go into the gay club.
Currently at a bar observing the mating patterns of drunken people in their 60s. This is hilariously terrifying. Hope he has Viagra.
people keep driving by and judging me for drinking natty outside in my underwear at 9 am. rude.
So this is what bad decisions tastes like...
Randomize
