That's what you get for not wearing a bra and jumping on a trampoline
Just saw a car with license plate GYPSYS that was full of gypsies
We should steal a little kid and go to Chucke Cheese
it was like getting a handjob from robocop
I would like to apologize for my MANY attempts of trying to motor boat you.
yeah we were the ones eating jello shots out of the back of a jeep in the bar parking lot
Do you think you're physically and mentally capable of killing me? Because I'd really appreciate it.
Lost my virginity dressed as catwoman. He was dressed as batman. Glad I waited.
If we can put a man on the moon, I'm sure we can turn a pringles can into a bong.
So, I feel bad. I just told my husband I had sex with someone else while on a business trip. Today is his birthday. I'm kind of a dick.
He said we were going to get fucked up in the woods so here we are
Ur creepiness is now affecting my life and I'm not okay with it
Also, I'm not that drunk, but I'm thinking of pulling the blinds all the way up and casting some porn up onto the living room TV to establish dominance over our neighbors.
Come on baby if you haven't had a Charleston chew eatin out of your ass you just ain't livin right.
My boss couldn’t find her phone so she asked me to call it and when I found it the screen said Fuck Toy was calling. I’m very much okay with this
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