google image searching george stephanopoulos at 1 AM on a saturday night...once again
just got super drunk mixing jägermeister with my lyme disease meds. even if my face goes paralyzed, at least i got smashed from it.
right. well i dont plan on getting laid till i find a respectable girl that i can make unrespectable
He just referred to himself as a sharp shooter. I had sex with that.
Not sure if he was actually hot or hot in a "he brought a live chicken to the party" kinda way but I got his # regardless
Some lady old enough to be our mom took us home, made me eggs and he still got some. Where do I claim my best wingman/sister trophy?
I piss off the neighbors just so I can have someone to compete with.
Can you explain to me why there are fake boobs glued on my chest?
I don't know if I'm feeling really nervous right now or just extremely horny.
Okay. So I've done lines off a bible. But that's just for the sake of being cliché.
NO. FUCK YOU. I HOPE SOMEONE REPLACES YOUR LUBE WITH HOT SAUCE.
Willing booties have sort of a tractor beam for me.
I’m going to give his broken heart CPR with my vagina
He wouldn’t know a good thing if it bit him on the ass. Which, btw, I did.
I HATE BEING THIS HIGH FML IT'S LIKE I'M MAKING UP FOR ALL THE 4:20S I DIDNT DO ALL AT ONCE
Randomize
