I bet there is no greater pleasure in life than pistol whipping people.
Anal.
there needs to be a build-a-bong store...
Would you still love me if I had no teeth
Yeah why?
Cuz i woke up this morning and a few are gone
New Jersey isn't a real state, it's just a myth you tell little kids to scare them like Canada or Carrot Top
Only you could manage to look like a complete slut while wearing a turtle neck.
at least he left the skimmer on the side of the pool so i could fish out my thong in the morning
We lost track of him for only 10 min and he gets kicked out for sneaking into the kitchen and trying to operate the deep fryer.
While you were in the ER we decided to tailgate in the parking lot until security told us that's not allowed.
you called your neighbor "slutsauce" then passed out on the stairway. not even sure why, but props to you.
So, sleeping with all of my Vicodin in my bra because I knew she'd be searching my room for drugs tonight. I'LL SHOW HER.
The guy next to me just said he wont play beer pong on principle. Im scared.
Sneezing cum all over the table was not the highlight of the family reunion if that tells you anything
I still don't know his name but his ass is spectacular. Like he should never wear pants.
Drunk Karaoke resulted in only 8 injuries this time, so there is some improvement.
I just found those cheese sticks in my purse. Along with a handful of confetti.
Randomize
