You're never going to guess who I just worked out next to..
Who?
Chris brown
No way... I bet he was intense
Are you kidding? He was prob training for round two
life is all about the fine print - all i wanted was a fucking pony.
Well someone named our apartment "the eiffel tower" on facebook check-in so I think they know..
Im in your car brotha dog. Its was unlocked, so im gonna sleep in it. well i mean i think its your car be your car.
False alarm I know hes alive because when i tried shaking him awake he pissed his pants and rolled over..
Btw. Made out with a random kid at a frat. It's all good though. He invited us to his frat party tomorrow so yay! For having plans!
oh no, don't get me wrong.. she IS really pretty. If you are in to horses or Sarah Jessica Parker.
The things i do for you...I put all those condoms on a bed, complete with girl, and you sleep in the bathroom
I let that bitch know in no uncertain terms I was taking the coke dealer in the breakup
I cannot describe the pre-ejaculative horrors thru the medium of text messaging
of all the things that should kill me, scurvy wont be one of them
If you could not mention to him that I slept with his best friend, that'd be cool of you.
decided to jump from one of the levels of the Westin chicago Nortghwest. it was worth the broken legs.
Taking a shit in a Texas 7/11... not accepting phone calls now lol
I fucked a French man last night. 5 Times. Ashed my cig in his cactus. That later set on fire while we were having sex.
Randomize
