Did you see Brett Michaels get knocked on his ass?
Hurt me personally.
Knocked his cowboy hat off... Bandanna was still good though
I just googled dawgpound, shoulda seen that pornsite coming
Yeah i mean there's 3 guys fighting over me. It would just be bitchy of me not to get with at least 1.
I hope God doesn't listen to everybody on a Saturday night.
the 24 hour champagne diet aint going so well
the entire lecture hall sighed when the prof announced that there will be an exam on 4/20
All semester I have been trying to figure out if this kid in front of me is gay. His cell phone just went off with Britney's "Circus". Case closed.
The goblet must only be used for good. And vodka. And anything t-pain would be proud of.
After four attempts, his condom would not flush. I had to remove it with salad tongs.
Looking for things to spread butter on. Found men's briefs in garbage can. Lost insurance card. Summer has finally arrived
last night he took my thong off with his teeth... god bless champagne
The extent of "getting it in" was this creepy guy sticking his finger in my bellybutton
Do you have any puffy paint? I want to put "fiesta muthafuckas" on my sombrero but its too much to bedazzle.
Since moving to the suburbs, all I do is fuck my ex and watch cartoons. It's not so bad.
I threw up soo much that I started crying. Then his grandma randomly came in and started rubbing my back...
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