Worst sexual experience IN MY LIFE. And now i know why it makes jesus cry.
she said and I quote "NO SOUP FOR YOU!!!" and closed her legs.
careful of the bathroom.... theres some drunken ninja turtles in there....
I had to close one eye to read the questions on my final this morning. That hungover.
He gave me a hug and said "He doesn't deserve you, Anna. Your boobs are great, and I'd fuck you anytime. Any. Place." I need a new 'gay' friend.
I just got peed on. This karma circle is starting to get vicious.
You were a path of destruction, you started with eating half the cake, proceeded by throwing the rest in the sink and dumping water all over it while laughing... then throwing the drunk helmet across the room yelling that you didnt want to wear it... i'd say it was a successful birthday.
I drunk-cried for all conjoined twins everywhere the other day.
No, they seem attractive after SIX beers, after three they're just the gender you're looking for.
Was it just me or did you also find it awkward when "glad you came" started playing on pandora right after you finished?
I am very happy to share that the hospital says the testicle pain is normal and that they are going to take care of it.
We just weren't working out together, on a completely unrelated note some guy that i talked to on his grinder account said i could crash at his place
I envy your ninja level of don't give a fuck
She just walked up to him and was like "you should fuck Angela" and it worked! She is the ultimate wingman
I decided to start over my porn collection by deleting the old stuff. That was a sad piece of a pie chart...
You, me, naked, mistletoe, fifth of jack, gallon of lube, condoms, Cheetos, handcuffs, rope, along with no morals, inhibition or judgment. That's all I want for Christmas.
Randomize
