just rolled a joint with wrapping paper.. and you say i have no christmas spirit
I mean we're not committed. He's my first choice, sort of like miller lite. When I'm at the bar I'm going to order one, but if they don't maybe I'll go for a bud or blue moon. I'm certainly not going to stop drinking
we were naked in his bed and he told me all about what a "baller" alexander the great was.
The glockenspiel player has some booze though so hopefully the ride won't be that bad
For some reason I just don't think you going to the gay bar alone on thanksgiving is a good idea.
I don't have nearly enough visine for the dryness from sticking my head out the window on the freeway for 20 minutes. Child lock me next time.
Sarah likes to play this game where she leaves her thongs at every party. she hides them where hopefully gf's will find them. I caught her naked from the waste down in my freezer this morning
Just saw two dudes run across the street carrying a mini keg and a scaled model of the empire state building. Missed this town
You just seemed really offended whenever my cup was empty.
I have 3 texts in my phone that say "Thanks King Tyler". I think I've successfully drank myself into a monarchy.
We ended up at a lesbian bar and all my co-workers tried to get me laid. This is not how I envisioned coming out.
After that time I came to the conclusion that jeeps are the best cars to have sex in
he BROKE his KNEE while we were getting it on, called 911 and the ambulance that showed up contained two paramedics, ONE WAS HIS FUCKING SISTER!!! HOW IS THIS MY LIFE?!?!?!
Poor life choices...?
So unmotivated today.
Who am I kidding. So unmotivated this decade.
Hungover on St. Patrick's Day. I did this backwards.
Randomize
