He's gotten way too comfortable around me. He came into the bathroom and took a shit while I was in the shower.
She needs to learn what's it like to have sex with someone and regret it the next day.
He wore homemade jorts on our first date. I'm not sure if I should leave now or embrace the white trash lust and marry him
i also performed surgery on a chicken burrito from what i can tell from my scissors
It's been decided..lingerie is an investment. You get free breakfast and cab rides out of it.
We were making condiment sandwiches, then her husband kept trying to get me to sleep with her. I hate being the only lesbian at the party.
I guess I realized I had a problem when I ordered 4 shots and told the bar wench to pour them all into 1 glass
Bro, did you watch that scooby doo porn I sent to you?
I left for five minutes and Chris wound up half in women's clothes, half naked. And the naked half was covered in shamrock stickers.
is leaving the club to fk in his friends van subtle?
It was Thanksgiving sex. I was thankful for it. Need I say more?
We just saw two bitche in pink capris jazzercising down the road. On Thanksgiving.
I'm only bisexual one week out of the month. Nothing like ovulation hormones to make the genders of my hookups seem completely irrelevant.
I don't think I've ever had this many people offer me blow before. 3 o'clock on a Thursday. I keep good company.
The amount of dicks I have seen in the last hour is more than I have seen in my whole life.
Randomize
