WOAH SHIT! That wasn't my girlfriend last night.
Either your mom needs to stop making spagetti or we need to lay off the anal. I cant tell you how much im in pain.
Spagetti cuz im not giving up the other one.
The handjob she gave me was better than the best blowjob I've ever gotten.. Just imagine the possibilities.
Just hit a cone using a lit sparkler. Tastes like I might die but it was magical.
You know how hard it is to drive a dirtbike down a road with 2 plants of weed on your lap. Fucking hard
I think I broke a hole in her wall trying to do backflips
At some point you realize they're vacuuming and you still have to sober up. Please find me a boyfriend thanks .
Also the fuck cup must be buried with me
I ran into him drunk, barefoot, at rite aid and he said I looked "stunning." Yeah, Stunningly shitfaced haha
remember when I lost my virginity and said I could see myself becoming a sex addict?? Well I'm pretty sure that time has come
Thank you for listening to my rant about tacos.
You got naked in his car? Or the koala suit was in his car? One of those sounds a lot less slutty than the other......
I’m a go ahead and fuck down ATL. So when I leave in January I’ll have no regrets.
Idk... I'm not sure why anyone would use a flesh light in general. Let alone hook it up to a wifi device.
You threw up everything but your ovaries.
Randomize
