If it were my dying wish, would you come over 2nite 2 save me?:):):) wana come anyways?
I assume you are not resopnding because you are having sex thus i give you a text message high five
We just took shots out of seashells. Welcome spring break 10.
I just used my thong as a hair tie. I think I reached my limit.
The coffee from our coffee maker just hasn't tasted normal since we made Mac n cheese in it that one time....
5am update: in a toga seeing triple made out with both sexes
Trust me that one dick you don't want. It's like a whale... That's swam too many oceans...
Dude, the lecture theatre is caving in on me.
I told him to just roll me a blunt and put it in a heart shaped box.
i feel like spreading the word of drunken joy.
Please come collect your inebriated significant other. He just sleep-farted and scared my cats. Please hurry.
He said he was a banker. Then he told me he made 15 an hour. I said he was a shitty banker then fucked his friend.
Is it weird that the best sex I've ever had was to Barbara Streisand's Christmas album?
He wants to buy me a wedding ring and pretend to be married to someone else when we fuck. It actually makes me wet thinking about it.
Not my lover. I would rather lose all my teeth, and I fucking love my teeth.
Randomize