fix you gags fore go to garrits please? !!!!!!!
What does that mean?
How when the cu k dos I yet u
Focus
Just got back from doctors appt. He lied. It wasn't a pimple on his dick.
I kept waking up & seeing my Goodfellas poster and thinking it was a window with people crammed against it staring at me.
I guess the lighting in my room made it look like they were moving. I remember telling myself that they were watching over me and protecting me from the cops
Dude I still wanna know who I had sex with on new years eve
the tow truck driver and i bonded while discussing our experiences with four lokos
This is going to be BYOBM Vegas trip: Bring Your Own Bail Money.
SARAH B AND I ARE GOING TO GO HALFSIES AND BUY YOU A CAT. IS THAT OKAY. TO KEEP YOU COMPANY DURING THUNDERSTORMS SUCH AS THIS ONE. ITS BECAUSE WE LOVE YOU.
Every time I roll over in bed I land on a different vibrator. I feel I'm the only one with this problem.
You were convinced you would hurt my car if you opened the door. Then you barfed in the pretzle bucket Peter gave you
My mom just offered to be my designated driver tonight. I love being an adult.
Dudes don't just lick butts of chicks they're not into.
Why did I ever allow that penis to enter my sacred temple?
I can now say I know getting hit in the face with a flying tortilla is not fun
I'm sitting on the couch playing the sims, how's ur night going?
I'm sitting on my floor, drinking wine, and listening to bette midlers "wind beneath my wings"
Why are our lives so predictable?
It's a family event: you have to drink. No way around it. Its the law.
Randomize
