wake up i wanna do it froggy style
Hey i just realized that im masturbating in the exact same kind of chair that they are doing it on in this porno
Fuck their fairy tale bullshit. I shall ruin it. With a few thrusts of my cock.
And I was somehow convinced to wash the glassware at the bar topless.
You SHOULD feel empty, we were at the top of our game, and by that i mean snorting things we don't understand and only a few steps away from adultery.
He got thrown out for leaning over the bar topless and pouring himself some beer while singing the james bond song
I really hope you are not drunk feeding a raccoon.
You don't realize it's a small world until your ex girlfriend's dad unintentionally messages you on grindr..what.the.fuck.
I saw Nicolas Cage's face in the moon. Those were good shrooms.
Omg one side of my Labia is asleep. Has that ever happened to you?
Are you texting, crying and driving?
And missing part of my eyebrow. Correct that is the description one would give of me at the moment.
I called you a cum goblin in my voicemail. I stand by it.
The hospital waiting room is starting to become a very familiar place to me.
I had the good sense not to tell her that my summer goal is to get fucked by a med student while wearing a party dress and sparkly shoes
I just saw a guy walking up the stairs with his dick out his pants. I let him know, and he just looked down in shock, laughed, and continued walking up the stairs.
Randomize
