I swear she didn't look like that last week.
you used to get mad at me for mentioning 'unprotected sex' and happenings in my bed
well yeah, but then i realized the wisdom of your ways.
I wishh there was a lost and high section in walmart cause I would be there right now
Someone obviously heard us on their way to class. They stopped at my door and started singing afternoon delight.
after the cops left he pulled the weed out of his ass and we smoked it
Don't be a smartass. I'm trying to fuck a guy who's sober. It's more difficult than you think.
And by hung out you mean you were in my bed for 5 minutes while your penis was in my mouth.
The landlord called, GOOD NEWS! Noise violation #2! Something about people singing and fighting with vodka bottles in the parking lot. Well done us.
It is. We should just be drunk all the time forever everything is like just 90% more perfect
So my parents just watched me pour their rum into a bottle and only add crystal light powder, no water... Talk about being judged. All I could say was "Cortland tricks?"
My roommates call me "Queen of the Skanks" I guess that means I've had a successful first month of college.
You kept ripping all your clothes off and saying, "Let me be free!"
I'll do anything with you, except downhill sports and butt stuff.
My fuck buddy just proposed... Correct me if I'm wrong, but doesn't that completely defeat the purpose of FRIENDS with benefits?
Now you can be friends with Insurance Benefits.
I mean, if I asked you, would you cum on cotton candy for me?
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