guys are not supposed to queef...right?
I think most guys look at porn as a fallback career. I mean I know I do.
can you please tell me why I'm bleeding so heavily from my ass and all my makeup is gone?
Okay I've seen like three girls walking around crying today. Weird?
everyone's regretting their thursdays.
he was persistant. I supposedly owe him a bj from high school.
thought i was the most hungover person in class until i saw a kid puke into his bookbag...he wins
It's one thing to send dick shots. It's a whole other thing to send unimpressive dick shots while wearing crocs.
It involved anal and pop rocks. Tell me how that could have ended well.
It got messy; I did a shot of seamonkeys.
Note to self. Don't order a $10 bottle of wine on a 40 min flight because it seems like a good deal.
God you're perfect.
I am. So drunk right now. Good work, Frontier.
Can't you just imagine you've grudge fucked me so we can get past this?
It's not Christmas until you get a photo from an ex wearing a Santa hat and red boxers... And then you just respond with, "nope."
Conversations really do change when your social worker had your dick in her mouth the other night.
i just wanna know who wrote "dibbz" on my ass?
There is an episode of "how it's made" on tv right now. The subject is tequila and water beds. Basically my life.
Randomize
