I kiss like a newly born barfing kangaroo
all adderall does is make me the grand champion of using wikipedia.
No. I remember how loud you used to get. Trust me.
And then she banged "the first Italian rapper"
just had to sit in the middle of an aisle in stop and shop because we're too hungover and needed to take a break.
Her mom walked into the garage as we were smoking a kush blunt with sombreros on.
You just kept walking around saying "my brain is soup" then sat on the kitchen counter washing your feet. You bit the guy that tried to help you down
So we have also come to the conclusion that slam piece Saturday's are the appropriate follow ups to find a husband Fridays
I'm sure it's not the worst thing to ever come out of my ass
I need to quit being a slut. It's to the point that I got my period today and automatically I Believe I Can Fly popped into my head.
i refuse to sex anyone who doesn't get my lord of the rings references. no exceptions.
YOU BETTER TOUCH MY NIPPLES TODAY
Ok well my life just seems more exciting by default because I'm dating my married boss and sexting with my ex
I just don't understand why we can't have sex in the house. I'll come see you but I'll have to think about the barn thing.
Oh no. He's definitely text-flirting with me. No straight man over 30 has any other excuse to use so many smiley faces...
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