Michelle Duggar likes to fuuuuck
I ate one of your animal crackers. just one. ok four. but no frosting. ok frosting.
You fell asleep mid BJ last night. I put your pants back on you. My ego is pretty bruised this morning.
It's gotten to the point where NOT peeing in the sink feels strange and uncomfortable.
oh my god i just remembered the cat blow jobs.
You are the only person I know that goes to a bar enough to charge your iPhone there....
does it count as a threesome if she tried to blow the dude who was passed out next to us?
Every time I get scared about the fact that I'm falling for him I remember that he juggles and is hung like a mastadon and everything is a-ok.
I have to cancel. My sons dad is out of jail unexpectedly and i'm kinda an emotional wreck. P.s. This is not the life I dreamed of as a little girl.
I think now I understand why people say my penis is pretty.
Well, I'm hung over and my penis hurts - two signs of success
Roommate charged out of his room in pajamas yelling "MAKE IT RAIN" and just threw $4,000 in fifties onto my head. My Friday night.
hurry there's a jack Daniels slip n slide and clothes are coming off faster than I can even comprehend oh thank god for autocorrect
Dog. I woke up between my ex boyfriend witch i'm currently fucking and his bestfriend spooning me in MY bestfriends empty powerless house still really fucked up. No one knows what happend.
ALL I WANT IS SEMEN IN/ON/AROUND MY BODY. WHY IS HE MAKING THIS SO HARD.
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