airport. 106 proof japanese liquor. 4 little travel size containers. im proud to be smarter than the average american.
he sent me a picture of his dick with a heart border around it
yea man just watch out- theres a shitload of broken glass in your bed
It's only 8pm and Karl already got a stripper fired.
After it was shut down sean literally made out with four separate girls between the 100 feet to our house. It was a rampage.
There is nothing more embarrassing than your birth control alarm going off while in a meeting with your boss and they tell you to take it.
Dude. I am seriously trying SO hard not to be amused by Honey Boo Boo. But the fact is, she just got a mani pedi with her gay uncle Poodle, and he got a discount because he only has nine toes, and I am ALL IN.
Would you be mad if I just used the argument "I'm allowed to say that, my best friend is a lesbian"?
Never. I'm proud to help you win arguments.
Megan brought her friend up last night, greeted her by drunkedly taking a piss all over her duffle bag of clothing
if the furniture in my bedroom wasn't shape shifting... this would be a different story.
He drops f bombs like every other word and he just gave me 127 shares of tmobile stock for free. I feel like I should pay him back in blow jobs or something.
Thanks for bringing that stuff to help me feel better...you know, the water, the Gatorade, and the dick. You really are the best friend ever.
Good, I would never sleep with your boyfriend , or send you an edible arangment
Philosophical question for you: is it better to go into work slightly drunk or slightly coked out?
I'll get the most aesthetic strap on, you'll see
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