i went through the entire semester and only just now realized there's a girl in my history class that i've hooked up with.
Because the last time i saw or spoke to him he came all over me in a hammock.
Let's just cut to the chase. I'm not interested in anything romantic but I aAM interested in Tom Petty and maybe getting high and fucking you again for old times sake.
I just got this text "hi this is Julie, I met you last night in the bathroom. You asked me to text you and remind you that you ate an entire lime, because you figured your sober self in the morning would be confused."
My glasses are somewhere in your living room. Also, my underwear might be in your bathroom or on or around your porch. Sorry.
Being the only sober one.. I had to feed you guys doritos. You kept licking my fingers.
I tried to show my boob for free volcano tacos at taco bell last night. Not boobs. Just boob. The manager wasn't allowing it.
She wants to go furniture shopping for memorial day so we've gotta go portable
thermos full of jaeger bombs?
Affirmative
This is the Taco Bell dump we've all been waiting for.
Stop sending me pictures of you naked. This violates the friend zone agreement.
Sex and compliments. The way to my heart
leads to pukin, then cryin, then 24hr masturbatin binge, then cryin again and finally a combination of all 3
You literally asked him, “Do you come here often? Do you want to visit my vagina?” With no hesitation
Blow Jobs and the Patriots Playing I think I’m going to marry her
I just caught your son trying to perform fellatio on himself. What do I do?
Randomize
