I wonder if you could grow some weed in a chia pet
he stopped mid-fuck to ask me how my day was....
it was a 10 min screaming orgasm. i don't care that you were next door and didn't appreciate all the noise.
He still hasn't made a move, so I slept with his brother last weekend. Maybe sibling rivalry will motivate........
Are you available to help carry me into the house Monday?
We're making herpes jokes very loudly and hoping she notices.
you threw up into the pocket of your shirt. which was pretty damn polite
I thought you just gave him blowjobs and he criticized your drug use.
she asked him to cuddle cuz she was cold and instead he got up, moved the space heater to her side of the bed, and went back to sleep
You're the only person I know who would be upset about making out with a girl you like. You're like a drunken Charlie Brown.
Just smoked pot with a guy who has apparently been living in the woods for over a month. He just walked out of the woods. This is not real life.
if anyone knows where my shirt is please let me know and if you know why I don't have my own shirt please also let me know. also do any of you know why I'm missing a bra wire?
According to the arrest report, I shouted "no, YOU put some pants on" at the cop. Downhill from there.
I'd give anything to be driving a pirate ship wearing nothing but a coconut bra and a grass skirt eating a pizza and watching dolphins jump in the waves. Dreams ya gotta have dreams
Let's make a rule now, to not smoke weed out of our trumpets. After tonight.
Randomize
