Btw, I'm really high so I apologize if anything I say gets translated into arabic.
they're scary. like turkeys that ate nuclear fucking steroids.
the fair has chocolate covered bacon...impossible is nothing.
So im going to watch Hocus Pocus in my footie pajamas... How am I in college?
i cant talk right now. we are trying to finish our homework so we can play with play-doh
I love having a boyfriend. I just ate pancakes with regular syrup and chocolate syrup, I havent shaved my legs in a week, and Im still going to get laid tonight.
fuck. you.
Idk, it's Grover wearing a sombrero. Do I need a reason?
You threw up? Were you ladylike while you did it? I'm wagering that you were. Like a Disney princess. Like a "Puke Me Pretty" Barbie.
I am stoned and listening to the Olympics music I downloaded on Saturday. Best 6 dollars I have ever spent.
I'm 11 for 13 getting drunker than the person who's birthday it is
I feel like I'm going to get the reputation of being the girl who brings her dog with her to all her random hookups.
I just went through the Wendy's drive thru only wearing a towel. My life has hit an all time low
Got a snapchat from Megan last night showing you sobbing about a burrito on the floor with Dan in the background trying not to laugh his ass off
I remember walking into a bathroom stall that had a couple fucking in it and giving them a condom and a thumbs up and then leaving
so at target i bought condoms, on sale undies, pasta roni, and martini mix. the old lady who rang me up asked "honey are you a freshman?" yea lady i am, thanks.
Randomize
