Def slept AT the bar last night, wow that's a first!
and then you made a playlist that was just "party in the usa" on repeat...
my ex gf has sooo many hot friends... i feel like im at a grocery store when on her fb... just shopping around.
he was sobbing,drinking his beer, all while confessing his love for her. awkward was an understatement...
She fucking ripped my chandelier out of my ceiling. How does that make her a keeper?
I gave him head while he watched NASCAR. My future flashed before my eyes.
He was pretty wasted I guess, but the crippled guy threw the first punch it was awesome
also I woke up naked and covered in water but nobody can explain that part.
Still not sure if my open-bar-week-long-trip to Cuba is the best idea as a congratulations-for-my-sober-february-challenge. My liver might just explode and give up.
Who says no to sex and donuts?!
The way I see it, there's 2 types of friends. Those you should do drugs with, and those you really,really shouldn't.
I have seen you puke and 5 mins later rock my world. So there is hotness there that average people will never see..
I am so so sorry I bit your butt last night. Twice.
Remember that Czech tennis player I brought home from beer pong and banged on your couch last year? He just booty calle me. From the Czech Republic.
Our fake lesbian relationship is better than her real relationship. Bitch be jealous
Randomize
