If its vodka, everyone is attractive. Tequila, everyone is dead sexy, single and fuckable.
So from the residue on my balls I think it was mashed potatoes she had in her mouth
its family weekend so i'm givin my little bro a tour of everywhere ive thrown up on campus
this isnt the first time ive seen her dressed as abe lincoln
He's basically like a fancy dildo that buys me dinner.
Well I squeegeed the puke off your arm at the gas station
He sent me an email apologizing for sleeping with her...and by that I mean he sent a picture of his dick to my school e-mail
I just don't know what he sees in my vagina...and that scares me.
I gotta figure out which 7 tampons in the box contains the drugs
Look at all the pictures I have of us sucking on jello syringes.
We took your mom out drinking and we wound up winning 18 games of Flip Cup. You have amazing genetics.
Please let me buy the coffee, all my assets are in starbucks gift cards
The council and I are about to open up a bottle of malort.
UPGATe: THE COUNCIL AND I HAVE AGREED TO BAHN MALORT FROM THE HOUSEHOLD
Can I just fuck someone without it basically becoming an arranged marriage
Yeah well I fucked my ex on a sink last night soooo booty calls for us all
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