i just saw a white kid with an afro using a martini shaker as a coffee thermos. go college.
I think he's on the stoner protein diet. I just saw him, at 3 am, spreading mayo on a slice of deli ham and sprinkling salt on top.
I realized after pounding back 151 and head banging into each other to "the drop" of that dub step song, that we weren't meant to have boyfriends at this point in time.
They flooded the bathroom and their version of cleaning it up was to throw our couch cushions on it. That's when I decided to chug tequila and go drunk bowling. So hitting the kid with my ball is really their fault.
Don't pretend you don't want to dance on the edge of overdose all three nights
Chicks, chicks everywhere, and not a drop to drink. Dude, when did real life lesbians get HOT?
Got head at the top of a water slide over-looking the valley while wearing a sombrero and drinking a corona. Epic.
Woke up behind one of the fraternity brothers houses in the grass wearing a guinness hat and aviators hugging a 30 rack box with a zonie on my chest next to a campfire.
She leaned in close to me, made eye contact, and seriously whispered "I will eat your soul with bacon bits." I want whatever drug she was on.
I want to get up and tell you that smells delicious but I'm struggling with the idea of pants
Your brother's naked in the courtyard again. Just a head's up.
Pretty good. Thinking about getting day drunk and filling out job applications so I don't hate myself as much
Apparently 'ewww' is not the correct response to him saying he has to go to a funeral while I'm there.
I don't need this shit right now. I just woke up covered in pistachios
I just need to find someone whose kink is financial submission.
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