I had a talk with my mom about respecting myself and not acting like a whore so she will rip my nose ring out if she somehow sees that picture
I'm about to take my first shit since thursday. I'm scared. pray for me. If I don't make it, tell my family I love them.
I feel like I should put "don't judge me" in the special instructions for the pizza guy.
we just ordered 30 dollars worth of french fries...whats wrong with us?
almost just walked around my whole building with my bowl in my hand before i remembered 420 isnt a get out of jail free card
Tidal wave of highness just hit. Find shelter and catnip. gloves. zebra striped car washes.
Cuz its complicated and I hate complicated and I miss your penis
you dont understand this isnt a sit at a sports bar eating wings and having a beer night. this is a show up to the bar with a fith of Jack and just let what happens happen kinda night. im expecting to smack a bouncer
Ok let me change into clothes i can run in
I cant shower it involves moving...
Just lay there and turn the water on. At least rinse off the shame.
Last night he asked the cab driver "if you were in the middle of getting tattooed and the tattoo artist suddenly got a boner would you leave or would you get that boner??"
The penis is a tricky weapon to use. When using it as leverage you have to make it seem emotional. I'd rather use it as a club sometimes.
She wants me to spank her and yell "Kerry! Your father is disappointed with your choices!" Fuck up but crazy hot? Or just fuck up crazy?
oh and apparently my boobs are named "have no fear" and "plenty o'beer"
The last two times I had sex with him I forgot who it was half way through
The hotel had a helipad. Of course we had sex on it.
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