im flying all the way to minnesota to see him for four days... cutest-best-friend-reunion or most-epic-booty-call-ever?
who says it cant be both...
someone needs to make a hangover cure that isn't cocaine.
This does no justice to the amount of paint I'm covered in or the amount of balls I'm tripping.
I'm alone drinking at the bar and the titanic theme song is on. This won't end well.
I was standing when I hit it. I barely made it to the couch before the walls started turning into people.
I'm sorry you were dumb enough to get played by a male cheerleader
Dude, you bit through my nipple. Give it a week, damn.
Don't think anyone else in the building has a lunchbox full of yay
Hey there's a sandwich in there too!
It's now 8:05 on a Wednesday night and I'm already going home with my bra in my purse.
And by pregame I mean drink heavily and watch Russian dash cam car crash vids
The only thing that got rode last night was the shit face train. I brought him home to see wht all the hype was about and he just started crying and puking in my bathroom.
I'll tell you that it involved a pair of pliers and a trip to the ER.
I demand a full explanation right now.
You know you hit Mardi Grad bottom when you come to in someone's kitchen on the floor and you are eating gumbo out of a Mixing bowl with a ladle......yeah rock fucking bottom
I made out with him in the club and he endorsed me on Linkedin. My networking skills are off the charts.
Chugging this bottle of Jim at the airport is proving more difficult than I imagined. TSA is not amused.
Randomize
