Apparently throwing up on your own cape is still a party foul
I was born in the year of the cock... How fitting.
at least you got your priorties in line. new years first, than the baby.
You tried to sled down the middle of the street. In. Your. Coat. Of course you are bruised.
You called me 32 times last night just to tell me you felt a heartbeat in your vagina?
After what was supposed to be a one night stand I woke up to a message in my room wall written in marker "Kaitlin got it on in here" definitely a cock block down the road
I woke up in a tutu and topless. How was your night?
Also CANADIAN LIPS TASTE OF MAPLE SYRUP AND APOLOGIES. SORRY.
I did however clean up the cupcakes and vomit so I'm not that bad of a roommate
Plus i lost a button on my shirt and we got free drinks all night. Sorry I'm not sorry.
Enroute to my place eta 6 mikes...estimated time until intoxicated? 45 mikes. Commence the timer.
I JUST WANTED TO GET SOME MOTHER FUCKING TACOS I AM SINGLE AS FUCK TACOS BRING PREOPLE TOGETHER OKAY
I'm so bored I talked to the Bible guys for 30 minutes.
I offered them beer last time they came here bahaha
Grateful to be alive soliciting dick pics. Thankful i'm alive for these little things and especially these big ones too.
the coup got in the way of sex but inauguration day came thru we did it joe
Randomize
