I told him that he is like a snow storm I never know when he is coming, how many inches I will get, or how long it will last
even my worst enemy doesn't deserve a bush like that
Just saw a man in a wheel chair using his feet to push himself backwards through a crosswalk... good morning Atlanta
I just stuffed five dollars in my near empty box of camels to remind myself to buy more. And my mom says I don't budget my money
Yeah, you spent an hour in front of the mirror trying to reenact the Sailor Moon theme song.
shes a baton twirler.. i expected her to be better with her hands.
You were pretty dunk by the time you introduced the vase as your best friend.
In all fairness I didnt see your dick because it was already in her
id say I'm a pretty good fuck buddy, i didn't even booty call him on his girlfriends birthday
someone in the elevator just told me i looked like a struggle but i smell very pretty..
and yet oddly the jello shots tasted better coming up than going down
Family trip though. I generally don't wheel too much ass with the fam in tow. Despite the fact my parents would be pleased if I did.
Pretty sure by 1p, she had fucked all of my bodily fluids out of me. I'm now trying to replace them with bourbon so 2016 is turning out pretty good.
Next time I will hook the Xbox before I get high I spent 30minuts thinking I was playing the Simpsons game when it was in reality a tv episode
I don't want to be drunk any more. Can you hit the off switch?
Randomize