actually, I'm a sock model
Remember ______, girl, blonde, one of my roommates the first year of ________?
Yeah we hooked up in the top bunk bed while simultaneously having a conversation with u, so yeah, I remember her
Emee failed...She used my genitals as a tampon
so i just googled the prescription for aldara i saw on your desk this morning...
the line at the liquor store is out the door, and students in line are high-fiving like crazy...i love college snow days
I may have a concussion but the symptoms are the same as a hangover so I can't tell. Best 21st ever.
Stop making excuses. You can be here in 5 and cumming in 10
He's either jacking off or listening to Kanye West.
So, your gf couldn't walk up the stairs without your help, but she could knit you a scarf?
I think the fact that the scarf was made out of dental floss should be taken into account.
Listen I know you hate her for what she did but this is getting our of hand. Please please tell me where you hid her wedding dress.
When I die, I want you to spread my ashes at a Cracker Barrel.
At tuba camp, the pickings are slim. It's like being the tallest midget.
I was originally going to go as fembot from Austin Powers
I wanted to have tiny guns for tits
I don't know man, I woke up and shes here acting like she knows me, wearing my clothes, and scrambling eggs in my kitchen. I don't know her.
You were drinking with me last night, I warned you.
How do you clean human pee out of a carpet
Inconspicuously
Randomize
