i fell asleep last night with fifteen animal crackers in my mouth. rock bottom dude.
stalking is really helping my grade.. I followed him to a review session tonight
some guy just asked me if water gets in a vag when girls take a bath. WTF. it's not a wind tunnel!
I spent an hour trying to convert bar outfits to church outfits. Its hard.
I let a guy with dreads drive my car, then demanded he take me back cause I don't let strangers drive my car, while repeatedly apologizing for being a cock block.
Your roommate is pacing with a pen in his mouth flapping like a duck. That brownie got me fucked but not enough to understand this. Come back!
He does that
Oh shit I just realized the ropes are still tied to the bedposts
I'd like to be surprised that there's a picture of someone pouring champagne in my boobs on Instagram, but I can't.
I haven't had a normal poop since halloween, we are not mixing vodka and tequila ever again
RESPECT THE VODQUILA
my phone went off during the middle of it and he ask what i was doing. he wouldn't let my reply with "your boss". ..
That dude with the beard walked up to me, turned my water into wine with everclear and kool-aid, and walked away. Pretty sure drunk Jesus is back.
I take Paypal, cash, sexual favors, and roasted red potatoes with garlic as payment. You choose.
just licked whipped cream off some model's nipple... just coming clean for when the pic gets on instagram because i am not untagging that shit
I feel like I'm in a astronaut outfit like I'm a spaceman & I'm just floating around cause that's all you do in space is float and I'm floating to be in detail
Houston we have a problem
Last time I had a one night stand he ended up stalking me for two months.
So you're not picking up this weekend?
This weekend, I am Angela, visiting from Calgary. We'll have to roleplay this.
Randomize
