I would kick you in the vagina but I'm afraid I would lose my shoe.
Appropriately today was the first time I've ever GTL'd. I can't believe I made fun of this,it's rather relaxing.
those 9 inches of man changed my life forever.
he thanks me after handjobs.
you found the perfect man.
drunk taco night MLK would want it this way.
Did you bedazzle the elevator?
I literally recorded a toilet flushing to make it his ringtone to remind me what a piece of shit he is
Listen up tinkerbell, You're gonna come to the bar, hit on some fat chicks, and step up when I punch someone in the face.
We ended not having sex. I didn't want to explain that I was wearing a Unitard because all my socks and underwear were dirty.
i ended up playing naked naked monopoly and hangman with my dealer. i really love my life.
My mom just asked me if I can obtain a fake ID by thursday
I know this is super early in advance but can I borrow your horse mask on 4/20
I literally cut myself out of my pants. What is my life.
It was probably the night you were half naked and trying to blow everybody, guy or girl.
this is me we're talking about here. You're going to have to be more specific than that.
be the chaos you wish to see in the world...
i'm trying to figure out how to respond to that in text
Randomize
