i would rim the shit out of meg ryan
I can't get into him, he looks really young. I'd feel like I was blowing the Gerber baby.
As long as they suck a good dick I don't care what fruit they have and where they have it
The cab driver just finished telling me how leaving community college after one month was the best desicion he ever made.
you kept going on about how you couldnt haven been the one throwing up because you were peeing in circles.
We thought we had lost her until we found her in the bushes a block away singing "Jingle Bells".
In one night, this kid threw a firecracker under a fucking cop car, crashed three seperate parties, and passed out in a tree in our backyard. Do you even know who he is?
You said that we all need to "head out like a boner through sweatpants and get fucked." Jager night was a success.
Captain and coke. And it's not drinking alone cuz i have a dog
As a gentleman whose genital hole is relatively small, you could imagine my reaction
Your first mistake was thinking that you could get through the day without drinking a single bottle of alcohol. Your second mistake was wearing shark boxers.
Interesting. All i can really say is humanoid shaped doritos bags melting very slowly
Wow. Ok who would waste Game 7 ticket on kids?!
Poor parenting at its best
That's when I realized I was probably naked in the wrong bed
i walked into her house and she introduced me to her family. i dont think she understands the term booty call
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