i learned of a new sex move called the pterodactyl. 3 guys stand in a row. 1 girl blows the one in the middle while jerking off the other two. kids these days!
Yaeh! Back in our day we had to wait our turn for some party whore to blow us!
well there you go. the average partycunt evolved into megapartycunt just like scientists predicted.
From the trajectory of the puke, I must have fallen off the top bunk while trying to vomit, due to the dented bucket, ruined carpet, and bruised dignity I now own.
A piece of cheeseburger just fell between my tits. Consider this a "wish you were here" postcard.
Also got home. Still stoned. Mom was up. We made a pizza and were writing a children's book. Sleep good.
My sister was borrowing my phone when the sext came through. She just said "wow. He's got a nice dick!" Then went on like nothing happened. Outed by a dick pic and its no big deal. Best sister ever.
There's a certain feeling that only comes from wearing pearls to hide hickeys
I just fully woke up, never smoking that much weed again. I had stress dreams about your house being surrounded by a lake and we kept losing our cars in it.
Our DD has become famous. Strippers are asking to be handcuffed to him.
I have to remind myself to breathe. That hungover.
you smell like cheap hookers & chicken nuggets.
I've had my dick out in public way too much for someone my age...
Sundays were made for eating Ramen pantless in bed.
I'm like a sensual ninja. You turn your head for a second and.... BOOM I'm naked. It's like a naughty magic trick.
Pretty penis doesn't make up for awkward eye contact.
Whoever thought of breakup sex is my new best friend
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