Pass out mid-funnel last night.
i don't know how the hand towel got involved, but i peed all over it
And i didn't ask you to do that, You showed your penis at your own free will.
sudden memory flashback: you and i having sex on the bed, erin sitting naked in your desk chair drinking whiskey straight from the bottle while harassing you for your computer password to play some "mood music." high five. go us.
My liver is begging me not to go, but sadly enough for him my feet and hands control me getting there.
Heard puking from next door. Looks like the third floor won't be any different than the second.
Finished sriting an apology letter to my liver 2 weeks before st. Patricks game on
You stared at the ground for like 20 minutes willing yourself to get sober
You can kiss the security deposit goodbye after you and your boyfriend did donuts on his moped in the middle of the apartment. It was impressive since you were both too drunk to walk.
I think I have to break up with him. I just cried, not moaned, screamed, etc, cried, with tears of sadness and disappointment when I came.
She's high and running across rooftops. Yes we're going to end up in A&E again.
We played table tennis, but used tv remotes taped to our foreheads instead of paddles. Every time your opponent scored you took a shot. I'm the current champion as of last night.
After my second liter of German beer, nothing D-cup or larger is safe near me.
Yeah, but i got vodka and bacon out of it, so it's fine.
Actually I learned to fire a 357 Magnum at the age of ten while on my very first period
Randomize
