Right on... I dropped my chapstick
I blacked out
i'm watching degrassi (go figure) and the episode is about jimmy not being able to get a boner and now he's famous and rapping about popping pussies..i dont get it.
Your brother just successfully got half the bar mostly naked
If they ask for a stool sample we r no longer friends.
i wish i could, but i promised myself i wouldn't sleep with anyone who couldn't grow a beard for a while. it's not you, it's crosby.
My favorite part was when he stopped, looked up in the middle of performing oral sex and asked, "you did know it was Arbor Day, right?"
We're not too concerned with getting her out of jail. We're on a mission for donuts.
We agreed to not shave eyebrows when someone is passed out. douchebag.
Two things. 1 - I want to apologize for my drunkeness last night. 2 - I want to pre-apologize for my anticipated drunkeness tonight.
He looks like he'd be great Lego character.
Well yeah. Plus. My dick looks awful. So I would need to do some extreme makeover dick edition before even starting something so ridiculous.
Damn you. I'm in a bar with Southern Jesus Fearing Blah Blah Rednecks WHO ARE PROBABLY VOTING FOR TRUMP and you go radio silent.
She paid me 300 bucks to spank her and call her Baby Jane. Then we drank half a bottle of sippin whiskey. I'd call it a twelve out of ten.
If it involves notarization or the Misfits, I am up to date. Anything else, I know fuck-all.
Beard. Chest hair. Job.
The holy trinity.
Randomize