oh there is nothing like the 1st beerbong of the school year
she just took a shower. i'll probs go down on her to encourage shower taking. it's like pavlov, you know?
either she doesn't know how to dress properly on a sunday morning stroll, or I just saw a 60 year old on a walk of shame
I somehow fell asleep on my kitchen counter using the microwave as a pillow
ever seen your mom drunk enough to lick your face? i have
Man, i was looking at the pictures i took last night in one i was on the Kentucky line fist pumping with a hobo..wth happened?
Party at my house. Beach themed. Clothing optional.
Wouldn't that make it "Nude Beach Themed?"
Im drunk on a hayride surrounded by toddlers. they are judging me.
Because at some point last night we decided that shotgunning beers from a paint stick was a good idea
Your life is one shit show away from being a lifetime movie.
Sorry I got completely naked in your bed, but I feel our friendship has grown because of it.
Jäger goes great with personal crises and receding morals...
I'm currently on an epic search all over the city for a drug store that isn't sold out of Plan B. I celebrated your birthday from afar.
Fuck you and your widespread penis snapchat
You were telling everyone in the bar that Jess gave you scurvy.
Randomize
