The guy I fucked in the port a poty just called me and asked me on a date!
Awkward!
No he was cute and I said yes!
How did I get so drunk? We had to fish that girl out of the Goodwill Donation Box.
making cat noises will not fix the situation.
You had a towel around you and you called it your shot bib.
She shouted out halfway through "that costume does nothing to hide your cock". Last time we let her drink at the theatre.
Yeah dude. They were so drunk they actually drank the pool water. Which I'm pretty sure will kill them. My parents chlorine the shit out of that thing cuz they know how much sex my brothers have in it
I just had really awesome sex bent over the side of an air hockey table. That is all. Happy thanksgiving.
I'm not entirely sure what happened last night, but I think I dislocated my kneecap during an epic Mario Kart battle...
I found our waiter on grindr, gave him my number, and got him to send a dick pic. Still not getting laid but close enough?
You looked at me, said I was a nice guy. Then you drunkenly climbed on top of me and said you liked me and wanted me.
You were supposed to be my wingman and all you kept to her friend was "kill it with fire"..
Bringing my cat to a booty call was not my finest hour
There's a kitten on my face and I'm druuuunk
Met a beautiful Irishman two nights in a row. I may never come back.
Even after hearing me fuck his friend twice in one night, he still follows me around like a puppy.
Randomize
