You tend to look at life differently when you wake up to nutella vomit all over your room with no recollection of how it got there
You know how to spell recollection?
she was licking his armpits.
asian porn is just fucking weird. End of story.
You two kept repeating the same thing over and over. It was like looking after retarded pull-string dolls.
Just grabbed my laptop and a beer to take a shit. Mom gave me a look of disgust. I miss college.
i was so fucked up i thought i was at home depot
An attempt at squeezing a tomato to make a bloody mary just says desperation all over it....
they esentially rejected my mermaid threesome offer:(
Convinced lucas all the eggs in the fridge are fertilized and now he's crying.
Hi future me, I saved you a big mac under the bed.
He pointed at some girls and said "I'm gonna have sex with them girls over there", and disappeared.
An image of us stuck like that like Pompeii comes to mind. A wonder for future anthropologists
She fell off the bed and giggled until she passed out naked. It was really weird.
Probably not gonna date her.
She paid me 300 bucks to spank her and call her Baby Jane. Then we drank half a bottle of sippin whiskey. I'd call it a twelve out of ten.
Guy just walked into the bathroom with only socks on and took a 5second shit. It is taking me longer to type this than for him to shit, wash hands, and leave the bathroom. WTF? Still wondering why he only had socks on.
She sent a group text pic called "Assemble" of his dick next to her forearm.
I'm down.
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