Yes give me all the cream and he's gone
Soooo billy mays was on coke. I'm about as shocked as I was when Clay Aiken came out
well what is some mechanical horse racing with out blow involved
That's your penis' name. I've always referred to it as Alejandro secretly.
No, the responsible one does not yell out "lets go to iHop" at 5 in the morning to a bunch of drunk people with munchies.
I woke up next to her boyfriend and she woke up next to mine....
This is like a fucked up game of musical chairs.
He came into your room last night to tell me he was leaving, when I woke up this morning he was facedown in your hallway. He didn't make it very far.
It was close. I was the girl scoping out where all the garbage cans were located in the class just in case.
This is why you don't heavily drink before 2 midterms.
Discovery: bouncers seem to get really upset about fire
I am a good friend because I got you a bagel. I am a bad friend because I ate half of it.
I found a video on my phone from last night... You got up on the table at McDonald's and screamed BURRITOOO!
She has that type of face she reminds me of that weird girl from napoleon dynamite only taller and with hoop earrings.
I'm over here trying to figure out how to get shake shack delivered to my bed and Jamie is having a child
I mean, I let him sleep with me after we both ate taco bell sober... That's kinda like love, right?
When you start lapping your martini like a cat it's time to go home. Partys over.
Randomize
