Jason just peed on the potty all by himself!!
"omg awesome!, you do realize we aren't together anymore"
And no, shaving doesn't make it look bigger, either
God Help those hot young girls. It's going to be like Bambi in iraq. Except worse.
My mom asked me if I was being satisfied, sexually. And then discussed positioning.
who knew that a girl that let me piss on her within 20 minutes of meeting her would get upset i couldn't remember her name.
Blood drive hookups: you will probably faint during the sex, but at least you know neither of you has AIDS
Kegstand on crutches, you need to get on my level.
Just made a beer run. At 9am. In my pjs. I should not be graduating today
he's the only real guy friend I've had who I've never made out with
I want to wait until after I get laid before I ask him his political affiliation. Just in case. I'm so desperate I would bang a Republican
So I just got motorboated by my grandma…
i feel like if my pee,blood, or vomit is on it...it should belong to me by default. can we make that a rule?
Your life is a soap opera of great sex, cats, and booze.
I found my parents stash of sex toys. You know my green one? My mom has it...in purple. I HAVE THE SAME VIBRATOR AS MY MOTHER
This is going to be so stupid, but do you feel the calluses on my hands when I give you a handy?
Randomize
