I think it's just because she's got "I'll sleep with anyone with a decent car" written all over her face.
I'm praying to Jesus, Allah, Buddah,and the whole gang tonight that I'm not pregnant
So I used the "I've never cummed from a BJ before" line last night.
And that worked?
9 for 9! Not only does it give them a goal but they have a sense of accomplishment afterwards.
Your excuse of not making us Mac and cheese was that you couldn't find 6 cups of water...
i'm duct taped to my bed with a condom in my hand. something went wrong
Euphemism? No, "pantsless vodka yoga" is a legitimate pastime of mine
I just baptized the girl next to me. LONG LIVE THE CHURCH OF VODKA
Tonights drinking will be celebratory and victorious. Picture the end of The Mighty Ducks set to beer.
I just realized that I have to choose between a future orthopedic surgeon and a dude currently in jail. My life is so fucked.
we didnt plan anything. just randomly met up in the park, both reached into our pockets and each lit up a joint without exchanging words. we're telepathic potheads.
How frowned upon is it to take your vibrator into the tanning bed...because Operation: dripping wet is in full swing and I have a busy schedule
Is this really the life I've chosen for myself?
Ps he swallowed my earring last night so yeah
woke up this morning to a baggy full of adderall and two redbulls..i'm gonna marry this guy one day
No offense, but I don’t think I would want to see him in anything skimpier than a hazmat suit.
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