I though she ruined it by crying, then I realized it wasn’t a tear, it was my great aim. It turned out to be beautiful.
Well for one thing, she was eating rice with a shot glass.
All I know is I woke up next to her beside the toilet
When I start puking tomorrow, just let me be. it'll start around 8:35. just let me heave. i love this part of my morning.
We fucked in your water heater closet. Told you we'd try everywhere.
my mom found me passed out in the kitchen floor with the Brita pitcher.. Happy Mothers Day
But you can still look for dick after you find Jesus.
Update... last night a man tried to bite my ear. I think he swallowed my pearl earring.
That hot guy i showed you guessed my exact bra size. I want to have his tan babies.
Hahaha I can already see the arrest warrants. It's gonna be beautiful. I'll get them framed.
I think he should just go away to a small penis island and never come back
I hate when pubes grow back. My mons is a warzone.
please tell me he didn't just scream 'i am the yiff lord' at the cops
She said she was sorry for rolling around in her own vomit. Honestly, I thought it really added to the party.
No I'm not high but I did cry for over an hour tonight because I realized that they never made a sequel to "Under the Tuscan Sun" with Diane Lane.
Randomize
