Was just hit on by a guy with 2 kids and one was named Rocky. I need to get out of Buena Park.
Bad news is im a slut again. Good news is its with people ive been a slut with before.
woke up this morning with pubes superglued to my face, not my pubes
Dude I still wanna know who I had sex with on new years eve
Is it bad that I just used Smirnoff as mouthwash?
Using 'equal to a modern day cock block" in term paper, inappropriate
New rule. Every time you and I have a disagreement that lasts longer than 10min, while in a bar, we'll have a shot. Figure we'll eventually start agreeing sooner rather than later...
Dude! I just figured out I can successfully hide a 4oz flask between my boobs without endangering my cleavage! College: conquered!
I like how our relationship transcends the borders of inappropriateness and encompasses all the colors of the inappropriate rainbow.
Trying to figure out what I just puked. Demon weed is salad. No more drunk buffets.
The nun costume is coming back hard and it still has glitter and the smell of Vegas on it.
Best. Text. Ever.
Whip out the absinthe and the taquitos, this motherfucker just passed the bar.
Just sent a dick pic to ur girl. It was accident. Plz mail it to Gena.
Man I was just the closest I've ever been to crapping my pants.
How bad was it?
Stopped drinking Sunday, hungover on Tuesday bad.
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