kevin brought a 6ft brunette runway model with him tonight. Now, im not sure what the fuck the color of the " i get it, its over, Im ugly" flag is.... but i'll wave it.
Listen, I'm 30. If it doesnt involve a super soaker and some chicken wings, you can count me out.
his mom cheated on his dad so i think he has a weird freudian thing for whores
The only way I can describe this shit is male aloe vera plant in both looks and feel its standing in the toilet
Thanks for that....my girlfriend picked up my phone and saw that
We let him drunkenly pack his own bags without checking them. Yet no one was surprised when the TSA girl pulled a 12 pack out of his carry on.
I told him I liked how shrimp feels in my mouth, but I don't actually like eating it. Turned out to be the most awkward way to say that I wanted to suck his dick.
There's a bus with a band full of dancing women in bras. I think I like it here.
What's the place called?
I searched "county" on google, but....there's a lot of results
If God invented something better than rough, drunken, lesbian sex he kept that shit to himself.
Didn't want to waste the cheese dust from the white cheddar popcorn, so I gave him a handjob, followed by the most delicious blowjob ever. Win-win.
The amount of times I have been emergency drunk in the past 72 hours is staggering
this potential sugar daddy just sent me a photo of him butt naked in the woods saying he wants to "grow our spirits together." so i think i found us a new drug dealer!
We were in a bathroom while 4 dudes compared dick piercings.
Buffalowww
Had sex on the beach last night with a drug dealer. win-win-win situation
Once you find out someone has a small dick, you never look at them the same again.
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