yo I sort of want to fuck rachel maddow. but I'm not a lesbian. actually I reaally want to so maybe I am a lesbian. at least on weekdays at 9.
i had a dream last night that my liver tore its self out of my body and ran away.
Good cause the way I see it, we are down to DAYS left of college so we should have as much naked fun as possible. And Jenga really facilitates that.
I'm trying to decide whether it's worth it to masturbate in this gas station bathroom
Well my ankle is fucked up, everytime it pops I have a reminder of $200. Jager bomb night and the day we began to rebuild our friendship.
Vodka and Jamison is not a mixed drink
He knocked me in the face with the phone during my light show. Didn't even feel it. Ecstasy is amazing
I was just hotboxing under my sheets and I got lost on the way out.
It was so scary.
Like I'm getting finger banged and my family is making cookies in the kitchen. Talk about terrifying
Just walked past the field playing Jesus music with a fanny pack full of condoms and beer. Happy Sunday.
And then you two got up and shouted in near perfect unison "I'M ALWAYS A SLUT FOR BASKIN ROBBINS" The bar just looked at us horrified.
That's Danny the boy who threw up in the Doritos bag
I was just at Kroger and saw some guy with a steelers balloon... ran up to him and popped it. NO RAGRETS.
thanks for supporting my whoreish tendencies
I was about to break it off with him because I realised he only wanted me for sex, until I realised that I only wanted HIM for sex. Win/win
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