i had just passed the point of no return when my mom opened my door. I hid my dick and took the porn off the computer in time but i still had to explain my day at school to her WHILE i was jizzing in my pants.
Single schmingle. No one actually obeys the relationship boundaries these days. Its 2009.
the guy that filmed erin andrews naked got 27 months in jail. Every man that's seen it should send him cigs and a nail file baked in a cake. We owe it to him.
everyone knows he gets back in a week and after that i'm not sleeping around anymore. it's like i have a expiration date.
So befoe we go on this mission how reliable are you for bailing peope out of jail
mid blow job she looked up and said "we aren't even facebook friends!"
I made him a flow chart of what to do if I got arrested.
Remember when I referred to my box of wine as my briefcase and made all of those stupid jokes about working overtime? Thanks for ignoring my cry for help.
Doing lines off a plate that says, "things go better with coke."
Just had sex in the darkroom, while a class was going on ten feet away. I finally have a good sex story.
It's 3 am and I'm buying cat food and batteries for my vibrator. Good thing I shaved my legs for this.
Woke up pants less in the vacant apartment across the hall. It was unlocked because they were showing it to someone. When they walked in I woke up and said "this is a great place to live" and walked out
Worst way to find out I have a half sister
We're currently sharing pics of our cats. I can't wait to sit on her face.
He really is. Owns his own house and has more than one towel!
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